


Shines like you.

by neverskies



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts Astronomy Tower, James Potter is a Good Friend, Lily Evans Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Oblivious Sirius Black, Pining Remus Lupin, Pining Sirius Black, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sirius Black Being an Idiot, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin Fluff, valentines day, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24688786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverskies/pseuds/neverskies
Summary: For years now, Sirius has been finding mysterious star-shaped chocolates (wrapped in the ugliest paper ever) in his pockets during Valentine’s day.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 181





	Shines like you.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this out of season? You fucking bet. But I had this ready and Valentine’s day is so far and........ well. This happened. And also I’m posting now bc it’s actually kind of a Brazilian Valentines Day today. A million thank yous for Pan who kindly betad this for me! I hope this is fun and that you can enjoy <3  
> 
> 
> **Warnings: Remus Lupin is a swearwolf**

Sirius always had his arms occupied on Valentine’s Day. Several girls at school (and even some blokes, too) would cover him in cards and candy. James, as Quidditch captain, would also get a good amount of chocolates. Remus got a few, mainly from Lily and some other girls from his study group who knew that’s basically the only thing he ate. Peter would get none, but then the other Marauders would get him some and write random names of students on the cards.

At the end of the day, the boys would all gather in their dormitory, lay all the chocolates on the floor and share it all. They would also go through the cards and try to guess who it was meant for based on the message and sender. Sirius thought it was a happy day, especially for Remus who could not care less about the cards, but enjoyed tremendously that ridiculous amount of chocolate. The boys would always let him have a fairly bigger share of it for it was practically the only thing Remus enjoyed eating. At times like this, Remus was really glad his friends were so popular.

After they were all having a little sugar hangover, the boys would get ready for bed.

And then there was the weird part.

Sirius was getting ready for bed. Got off his cloak and socks, undid his tie, and unbuttoned his shirt. Before changing his uniform pants to his comfy pyjamas, he remembered to check his pockets, and there, _once again_ , it was.

He had gotten three small chocolate bonbons. They were shaped like a star and wrapped in a horrible Gryffindor-red sparkly foil that made him sure it was a cheap chocolate, which made him smile despite himself. The Marauders’ little tradition of chocolate-sharing had started during second year, but this event of magical chocolate finding had been happening to him since their fourth year. Ever since then he would find those cheap chocolates in his pocket at the night of Valentine’s Day. He reckoned whoever gave it to him would wait this long only to be sure he would eat it himself, or to be special for being the last one to deliver it. And this they had managed.

However, there was never a card to accuse who this secret Valentine was. When he was 15, he had found the chocolate only in the following morning while putting on the uniform trousers. He had asked the boys if it was theirs, as he didn’t remember getting it. But no, the star-shaped chocolates had been for him.

In fifth year, He found it in his pocket while they were still sharing and reading cards. As Sirius got the bonbon out, showing it to the other boys, Remus asked if he could have it. Sirius, however, dismissed him with a wink and told him that it was a special one from a secret admirer. James was almost screaming in surprise, asking who was it from, and Sirius just shrugged, it seemed to be only another Hogwarts Mystery.

This year had been the same. Star chocolate magically appears in his pocket the night of Valentine’s Day. Once again, no card attached. Before laying down, Sirius opened his curtains in a final try to get a hint of the sender. He looked around, but the dorm was just the same as always. As he gave a small sight of frustration, his eye caught some movement from the window.

Lightened by the blue gleam of the moon, Remus stood in front of the window looking out. Not even thinking, Sirius was already to his feet, meeting Moony in his gaze to the night sky.

“Too much chocolate leaves you contemplative, does it Moony?”

The boy jumped, startled, but relaxed upon meeting Sirius’ eyes.

“Hey Padfoot” He said, calmly, and leaned his back in the side of the window, still being struck by the blue light. Looking down, something caught Remus’ eye. “You got it again? Those chocolates.”

“Yeah, and still no card though.” Sirius smiled, bringing up the hand that was holding the gift, to examine it closer.

“And you haven’t figured out who it is from, I assume?”

“Well, not really.” He chuckled. “But I do wonder. Who it is? Why they do this every year? And if I will ever know who they are?”

Their eyes locked for a moment, but Remus quickly looked away.

“Getting sentimental, are we? I thought you were always making fun of the girls who give you chocolate.” The side of his lip curled up to a shallow smirk.

“Jealous much? Rest your worries, Moony. You’re the only _Chocolate Man_ for me. Stealing it from you does make it taste better, adds a spice called _danger_ to it.” He sends a wink to Remus, and shows him the bonbons again. “But look at this wrapping, its hideous!” He laughed. “It’s so terrible to the eye I find it quite endearing. It has been the third time I get it, and it feels like a small comfort, you know? I actually appreciate it. Weird right? Heart-breaker Sirius Black gets emotional over a secret admirer.” He looked down, smiling to himself.

“Guess you break hearts to collect the pieces, eh?” Remus laughed and elbowed Sirius playfully.

“You wound me, Moony! I guess I just don’t want to date the girls I shag, and when I shag its not to fulfil any emotional purpose.” Upon seeing Remus frown at him with a smirk he continued “Oh, my purest baby Moony! One day you will come to experience these worldly pleasures and then you’ll know what I’m talking about.”

“Hah, you have no fucking clue, Sirius.” Remus said in a low tone.

“Moonikins, you should really clean that impure mind of yours. Is it just in your dreams? Do I show up in them sometimes?”

They both laughed with this usual teasing. Remus seemed to laugh more than Sirius expected. The black-haired boy would usually slip these innuendos amid their conversations, trying to make the other embarrassed – and always failing.

This time was no different, as Remus didn’t flinch, laughing at the joke non-stop, as if it was an absurd thought. Somehow, and Sirius still didn’t know why, he wanted a different response. A blush, a flinch, a sign of anything. For _some reason_. He guessed he liked unsettling Remus and dismissed the thought.

“I like feeling good, and that’s that. I don’t care that I couldn't feel anything more for those people.” Sirius finished.

“Don’t you?”

“Well. I guess… I guess it would have been nice. It’s not like I didn’t try, you know. I just… didn’t. Feel it, I mean. But this Chocolate Person though, I kinda wanted to meet them. I really hope I meet them sometime. Or that they at least make a card next year, as it will be our last.”

And all of a sudden, there was a gleam of rage in Remus’ eye that vanished as soon as it appeared. Still he looked at Sirius intensely, saying in a bland tone.

“I think that’s bullshit. If they didn’t say anything to you these past two years, I don’t think it will be any different now. What would you even do if you knew who it was, anyway? Congratulate them and then send them on their way? Shy ones were never your type, Pads.”

Remus was looking at the floor, his mood clearly altered. Sirius managed to catch his eye, and spoke in a calm tone. He didn’t know what made Remus so heated up on the topic of a silly Valentines Chocolate, but he knew he ought to calm his friend down a little.

“I would almost think you’re _actually_ jealous, Moony” He said with a wink, and Remus eyes seemed to stop. Sirius proceeded to rest his elbow in Remus’ shoulder, in the hope that the physical contact would help his temper, and he spoke softly “Well, I think they are sweet. I’d at least thank them for their gesture, I’m not an arsehole” Remus lifted an eyebrow at that, and seemed a little less tragic already. “Not _always_ anyway. Wouldn’t you want to meet the person, if it was you getting secret chocolate?”

“No fucking way. If I were you, I would have already burnt that shit back in fourth year”

And with his signature Sad and Annoyed Moony Look, he shoved Sirius’ arm away as he stormed off to his bed, leaving Sirius to contemplate the stars alone.

_xxx_

Their last year at Hogwarts. Sirius’ last chance to pinpoint his secret admirer.

And he did have a wild guess, already.

Now, a year later, he thought about last year’s chocolate. Now that he could see more clearly, his guess had already been there, but more as a hope than anything.

After his night conversation with Moony (which he had since then spent countless sleepless nights thinking and overthinking and ruminating in his mind), Remus seemed to be absolutely back to normal, and didn’t bare that look anymore; not annoyed (for a specific reason) nor sad (more than usual). Just Good Old Moony.

But what Sirius did notice though, was how he was trying to hold the taller boy’s gaze a little bit longer. Or how he was leaning a little bit closer to his friend when they sat by the common room. And how everything Remus said sounded way funnier than anyone else saying it. And how he felt the need to place a hand on his friend’s shoulder, arm, hand, anywhere, when said friend was too invested in conversation with someone else.

As it was their final year, the Marauders decided to not keep this tradition only to themselves. It was the record amount of chocolate they had ever got, and so they decided to share it with their fellow 7th year Gryffindors. All of their friends were gathering at their dorm, bringing an unholy amount of chocolate, whilst James and Sirius had brought too many bottles of firewhisky themselves. James had said his plan was to get everyone drunk enough and in the mood to confess to their crushes.

He actually just wanted to make Lily finally confess that she liked him, as her change of heart had been pretty obvious for more than a few weeks now. Alice and Frank were already the cutest couple in the room, together since 5th year, but they seemed excited about playing cupid for other couples, like Dorcas and Marlene. Mary was probably hoping to get a good snog with all available boys in the party. They also got extra Foxy Apple Pie for Peter.

In the end, the group of Marauders saw their dormitory filled with more people than they had expected, as their friends all invited more people over, and there were even a few students from 6th year. They did put a silencing charm in the room so no one outside would hear the loud music coming from inside. James even suggested they made a password in case more people tried to join, to which Peter suggested a very obscene and insulting phrase they ended up using.

Sirius was quite proud. Everyone seemed to be having fun, eating chocolates and other snacks and getting drunk, swaying to loud music chosen by himself, Remus and Lily. A few couples were snogging in corners already (including Dorcas and Marlene, which left Alice and Frank pleased with themselves). Peter had made sure to cast a charm in their beds so no one could use them besides their owners as he had already been traumatized by another one of the Marauders Parties. 

Sirius thought everything was going smoothly. He was engaged in conversation with James, Lily and a few other Gryffindors, noticing how Lily didn’t shove James as he put his arm over her shoulders. Smooth. He was happy, but couldn’t help that little weight of anxiety in his stomach, checking his pocket every two minutes. He didn’t get the chocolates, however. It was quite disappointing.

Then he felt someone approach, gluing an arm to his own, and suddenly there was a hand in his pocket.

He didn’t want to look. He did not want to be disappointed and his heart was beating fast. After last year’s event, the conversation he had with Moony had left a flea of unsettlement in his heart.

But when he reached for his pocket and the hand was still there, he didn’t even need to look, and a rush of something he didn’t know how to name well took over him. As the familiar hand was removed from his pocket, his fingers went through three stars, which he was already sure that were enveloped with an ugly red wrapping filled with sparkles. Holding his breath, Sirius finally looked up.

Remus, with a blank expression. Remus, with defeated eyes. He gave out a breathy smile that looked completely out of place and walked away.

And Sirius was stunned. Breathless.

So now, his guess was right. Now everything he was trying not to notice, to shove at the back at his head and ignore, was coming back to him. Now there was an explosion of emotions inside Sirius’ head, most of which were so confusing he couldn’t name, but all of them were desperately screaming _Remus_.

The infamous day of their conversation just one year ago left him wondering. Remus _did_ look jealous at the time, but in a weird way. It was only after that day that something that had been happening for a while was shoved in front of his eyes to see, though he still tried to pretend he didn’t. He didn’t want to acknowledge his feelings for his _best mate_. What if he had misunderstood? That wouldn’t be something new, as he had been called oblivious a few times already, but this concerned _Moony_ , and if he was wrong about this everything would change. And his friendship was one of the few things in his life that Sirius was absolutely not willing to risk.

What he did let himself see, though, was that Remus had acted in a weird manner, almost suspicious if you knew the secretive boy well enough. And even if he wasn’t the secret Valentine (though Sirius had spent the last year praying and trying to gather any sort of evidence that he was), Remus at least cared enough to be _jealous_.

It still unsettled Sirius a little bit because _was Moony being jealous of himself?_ That would be both too stupid and something that was sure to be expected from Remus, he thought with affection.

But now it was true. His hopeless hope was true. His wild guess was true. And his feelings for Remus were also so fucking true it almost hurt. Why hadn’t he done anything before? Sirius was so rash about everything, but cursed himself for not being rash about this _one_ thing. Then they ought to not have been going in circles around each other for literal years.

“Sirius, are you feeling ok? You’ve been staring wide-eyed at the portrait of _Silas, the Skinny_ for a few minutes now. Were you with your drink all the time?”

Sirius suddenly went out of his trance as Lily put a delicate hand on his shoulder, already reaching for his drink to inspect it.

“No one drugged my drink, Lily. At least I don’t think so. I hope not. What if this was a just a hallucination?” He said, panicking a bit. Was is possible he had been drugged into thinking Remus slipped chocolate inside his pocket? It was rather unlikely, as he was only slightly tipsy, not even feeling drunk yet. He held the chocolate in his hand. It seemed real enough.

“Sirius, make some sense”

“Remus” He looked at her intensely, but Lily still looked at him as if he were mad (or drugged). “Remus was my secret admirer. He just slipped this into my pocket and disappeared.” He showed her the red stars, and she understood. Sirius had already bragged enough to her about his secret admirer and hideous chocolate stars.

“Well” She said with her doe eyes, as her mouth was forming a grin. “What are you doing here then? Go after him!”

Once he got out of his stupor, Sirius _ran_.

_xxx_

Fuck.

_Fuckfuckfuckfcuk_

Remus was totally fucked.

Completely, absolutely, undeniably and ultimately fucked.

Why had he listened to _James_? James _and_ Lily, he reminded himself. And Alice and Frank. And Dorcas. And Marlene.

Basically, all of his friends were in his blacklist at the moment, except for Peter who didn’t give a shit enough to get too involved in the matter.

But still, _especially_ James and Lily.

They had convinced him to do it. The thing is that both of them were too smart for their own good, and still in 5th year they had correctly guessed _Remus_ was the secret admirer. He tried to deny, of course, but his friends knew him too well, damn it. But at least they swore not to say anything.

Tonight, he was getting weird encouragement pats from all of his friends. Remus felt betrayed, but James told him the only thing he had said to the others was that Remus liked someone but wasn’t confident enough to confess, not specifying the target of his affection, and Remus was glad. Though he thought most of them had guessed already.

But then James and Lily had cornered him. They had managed to convince Remus to do it, told him that they were still going to be his friends even if Sirius rejected him, that Sirius would never hate him, and they were The Marauders no matter what, no one was going to abandon him. And if Sirius was an asshole about it, which they doubted, James would be sure to hang him by the foot and show the whole school his heart underwear until he apologized. That made Remus laugh and calm down by imagining the scene. He may or may not have cried a little with his friends’ supportive words and calming hugs.

But in the very moment he did it, slipped the damn chocolate inside Sirius’ damn pocket, he immediately regretted it. How could he have been so _dumb_. Of course, James and Lily would say all those things at the time, but it would be a completely different matter once Sirius rejected him. Because even if Sirius didn’t hate him, he was bound to feel awkward towards the taller boy. And then James would try to mediate it, but of course he would spend most of the time besides his brother. And Lily was clearly going to date James, so she would also have to stay at a distance from him. Peter just went along with whatever James did, so Remus was likely going to become a friendless Werewolf. And then they would be graduating and no job would take him and he would become a Friendless and Jobless and Poor werewolf and Sirius would never talk to him again after school ended.

Then he was just going to be 30 years old and sad and Lily would visit him occasionally and bring him cookies because she felt pity and wouldn’t know if Remus had anything to eat at all, and she would talk about her and James’ five children and seven cats but proceed to leave quickly because she felt too uncomfortable to be alone in a room with a depressive werewolf. Then when he was like 35 he would have had enough and probably incidentally die because he forgot the fire on with all of his windows closed (or so would his note say).

But now going back to the _facts._

The _fact_ that Sirius was absolutely not gay. Sure, he had caught Sirius snogging a boy last year, but that didn’t mean his friend was gay, right? Sirius had also already snogged James in the common room while playing drinking games a few times because James was sure Lily thought it was hot, and that did not make _James_ gay.

Remus’ mind convinced him to look for more evidence that his friend wasn’t gay. _Well, girls love him!_ But when was the last time Remus saw him with a girl? He could only recall a scene in the beginning of third year of him and Mary holding hands, but she was dumped within a week because she had wanted to _kiss all the damn time_ and Sirius had thought it was gross.

The other times had all been with a few girls that Remus didn’t know. They were never with him for over a night though, and Sirius insisted on not keeping in touch with any of them.

But that didn’t matter now. He shoved away that trail of thought that would get him nowhere. He had run away the instant Sirius’ eyes met his, because he didn’t want to cry right on the spot and ruin everyone’s party. So he ran away to cry in the astronomy tower instead, though when he got there, he found that no tear was forming in his eyes. _Great, I’m probably catatonic too_ , he thought.

Might as well just look at the stars and later figure out what to say to his friends. Show up to James and be like _yeah, guess it didn’t work, mate_ and James would pat him in the back and Peter would share his chocolate. Or just map out hiding places and make a schedule so he wouldn’t have to meet his fellow dorm mates for the next five months. He liked the second idea better.

Just as he was going to start thinking about nice hiding spots, he heard a noise from the stairs. Remus’ blood went cold.

_No fucking way_.

Remus thought he might just keep looking outside. Maybe if he ignored the boy coming after him enough, he would go away. His mind kept going at 1000 miles per second trying to find a way to get out of this situation that didn’t involve jumping out the window when he heard a quiet cough followed by a familiar voice.

“Hey Remus, thought I’d find you here.”

Sirius’ voice sounded breathy, as if he was running. _Can’t wait to blow me off, can he?_

“Um. So” The black-haired boy had his arms crossed, clearly uncomfortable. Remus wondered if he could die before hitting the floor by jumping from the tower.

“Look, I know, OK?” Remus said, unexpectedly loudly. “You didn’t have to come all the way here. “

“You… know?” Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. I’ve always known. This stupid valentine’s gift. I wasn’t planning to tell you it was me, like, ever, but then James and Lily and their stupid friends coerced me into this, though I _knew_ I shouldn’t have and I-“ Remus heard chuckles and looked up from the floor into Sirius’ eyes, who was now giggling “What?”

“I just think it’s funny” Sirius said taking a few steps forward. If Remus hadn’t been already standing right next to the window he would surely be walking backwards. “That you always think too much and don’t say anything. But when you get nervous-” He smiled that _Sirius Black_ smile that could make the whole fucking Antarctica melt as he walked closer “You just can’t stop yourself from blurting everything out”

“Ok, Siri- Pads.” He appealed to the nickname and took a heavy breath. He really wasn’t in the mood for this. “Just go back to the party, ok? I know what you’re going to say and honestly, I don’t wanna hear it.”

Sirius looked at him with disbelief.

“Wait, what _exactly_ is it you claim to know?”

“That you’d reject me. That you don’t like boys, that you don’t see me this way. That this is going to get so fucking awkward now though you’ll try to be comprehensive but still be weirded out and that after school ends only Lily will keep in touch to talk about her seven cat children and then leave and then I’ll forget the fire on and-“

He was hushed by Sirius’ hand that suddenly was cupping his cheek, thumb pressed against Remus’ lips. “Merlin, do you ever shut up” Remus was startled that he didn’t see the other boy coming so close when the hand on his cheek moved to the nape of his neck and suddenly-

_Is he kissing me?_

_Did I accidently jump out the window and am now in a pre-death hallucination?_

The kiss was soft and very brief, as Remus was frozen in place and didn’t seem to respond. Their faces were still very close, eyes meeting, and Remus’ mind was desperately trying to rationalize what had happened.

“Are you drunk?” He said in a low voice, trying to sound calm, though the anxiety undertone was clear.

“No.”

“Did you take any drugs?”

“You’re the only drug I need.” He winked playfully.

Remus’ mind was running out of possible explanations for that most awkward kiss. “Is this a joke? Because I don’t find it very entertain- “

“Hell, Remus, no! Is it that hard to believe that I like you back?”

And Remus froze even more.

“Wait you… What? But you fancy girls!”

“Seriously? I made sure you saw me kissing a _bloke_ , I thought you would get the hint.”

“But I… I don’t get it. You like _me?_ Specifically?” Sirius nodded, almost laughing. “Padfoot, you can literally blink your eye at every girl – or boy, I guess – in this school and have them in their underwear instantly, and you like-“

“Don’t you dare, Moony.”

“You like this anxious, average-looking werewolf who dresses in ugly jumpers and has a severe lack of self-confidence?”

“Yes, _specifically_ the jumper part, but they are cute. And so are you, Moony, you’re the nicest, sweetest, kindest person I know. And I hate that you refuse to see that.” He sighted heavily. “And I _like_ you Remus, no, I can even say that I fucking love you and I have for some time now. And now that I know you do too, I’m not letting you question my feelings anymore ok? I love you and that’s that. Accept it.”

Remus started mumbling some nonsense as Sirius leaned in, making their noses touch.

“Don’t say anything. Just let me kiss you”

“Ok”

And when their lips found each other’s Remus kissed back this time. Enthusiastically. He was already melting and the only thing he could think was _yes_ because that felt so damn nice and Sirius honestly tasted so delicious that kissing him was now the only thing he wanted to do for the rest of his life, fuck his homework assignments.

Sirius kissed him gently but let it get deeper when he felt a small bite in his bottom lip. Sirius’ hands were all over, exploring Remus’ chest, back and lower…

Remus’ hand was tangled in Sirius’ hair, and as he pulled a little bit, the other boy let out a soft moan, and Remus took it as a mission to hear that same noise again.

Remus had no idea for how long they stood there kissing. At one point he had flipped them around and pining Sirius in a wall next to the window. As he was kissing Sirius’ neck and leaving light bites, he heard a breathy laugh.

“You’re the hottest person I know too, by the way.” Sirius said under his breath.

“What?”

“You’ve got that sexy professor vibe, I love it” He proceeded on kissing Remus’ jaw slowly.

“So what, you want me to put you in detention or something?”

“Only if I’m a _bad boy_ ” Sirius grinned “Come on, let’s get back to the dorm. The party should be over by now.”

They went out the tower hand-in-hand, occasionally stopping in dark corridors for one more kiss.

As they entered through the portrait whole, Remus remembered about the spell Peter had cast on their beds, leaving Sirius furious.

When the morning came, James would be worried for a second about his friends who hadn’t made their way back to the dorm. But going down to the common room with Lily under his arm, they would be so relieved, smile and high-five each other upon finding Sirius and Remus curled up on each other sleeping in the couch in front of the fireplace.

**BONUS**

_This is a part that I Wanted to include but it didn’t fit anywhere so I’m making it a bonus scene. My head cannon for this fic is that Remus was absolutely terrible at aesthetics._

_xxx_

“Do you really think they are that ugly?” Remus said, as he unwrapped a bonbon to feed his boyfriend.

“Yes. It looks like a house-elf had to pick your present blindfolded, so they chose a niffler that vomited this paper. Hideous.” He put the whole bonbon on his mouth, trying to lick Remus’ finger before he pulled his hand away.

“I thought it suited you when I chose it.” Remus said, while unwrapping one chocolate and eating it himself.

“Are you calling me _ugly_ , Lupin?”

“That’s not exactly how I would describe your appearance.”

“So would you say I am a pretty boy? Handsome? Stunningly beautiful? A magnificent shining star? The Fairest of them All?”

Remus raised an eyebrow “Yeah, I guess something in that vibe” He smiled and kiss his boyfriend’s lips with delight.


End file.
